


Vampire & the Little Warlock

by pocketsizedtitan



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, M/M, Vampire Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Warlock Eren
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-17
Updated: 2015-10-28
Packaged: 2018-04-26 18:58:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5016400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pocketsizedtitan/pseuds/pocketsizedtitan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi has lived his life in solitude for the past 500 years, until an orphaned, little warlock — intrigued by this grumpy vampire — starts following him around.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Orphaned Warlock

**Author's Note:**

> I honestly can't remember if I posted this fic here on AO3 before and deleted it. I started it a year ago and dropped it, but picked it up again recently. Originally posted on my [tumblr](http://pocketsizedtitan.co.vu/post/100296725926/vampire-the-little-warlock).
> 
> Happy Halloween month!

Levi pulled out his flask, unscrewed the cap and took a swig of the liquid inside. It went down his throat, lukewarm and bitter with age. 

Much like him.

The blood wasn’t as good when it wasn’t fresh, but good enough to satisfy his cravings. Not that he was on some self-sacrificing journey to  _not_ get fresh blood – a.k.a, from live meat, live  _human_ meat – it was just that, it was hard to with the current nuisance in his life.

Five hundred years. Five hundred years he’d lived a pretty dull, solitary life, and that was perfectly fine for Levi.

But now?

Levi took another gulp from his flask, dead eyes staring at the red and purple sky. The sun was setting over the hill while Levi took a small break in the field of daisies.

“What'cha dwinkin’?”

He chugged down what remained of the blood, choosing to ignore the curious voice next to him.

“Can I have some? ’M tha'sty.”

His solitary life was now, well, less solitary.

“…Why are you still here?”

The four year old boy stopped his daisy plucking in order to look up at the five hundred something odd vampire, white petals scattered over his lap. 

Levi didn’t have to look to know those big, green eyes were staring at him, all bright and innocent and completely and utterly  _clueless._ So Levi returned the look, this time to get a proper response, not that he expected one from a toddler. Said toddler just smiled, the pointed hat on his head tilting off kilter. He had to set it straight. _  
_

“Because you funny!”

“…”

Okay, this brat had a death wish.

“How am I… funny?”

“Mm,” he crossed his little arms, thoughtful pout on his face as he stared at Levi, “yo’ teeth awe so big! Why is that?”

Levi bared said teeth, a warning, “All the better to eat you with if you don’t scram.”

“What'ssa ‘scwam’?”

“It means running away.”

“Why would I do that?”

“Because I am a scary monster.”

He tilted his head, words so terribly honest, “Yo’ not scawy.”

Levi just sighed, legs loosely drawn up as he set an elbow over a knee, chin in hand. There was just no dealing with this kid, especially when he had no sense of danger. “I should just suck your blood and get this over with.”

Why hadn’t he done so yet? He should have done that the first time he caught the boy following him.

The kid just smiled like Levi said something funny, going back to playing with the daisies. The sun had finished setting and the stars were clearer in the sky. 

“Your name?”

“Ewen,” he said, laughing as the daisy petals he plucked lifted off of his lap and floated all around him.

“Eren, huh.”

He couldn’t even control his own powers. Great. Levi had an orphaned, toddler warlock following him around with uncontrollable powers.

And  _that_ was why he hadn’t drank his blood.

He’d heard warlock blood didn’t taste all that great.

And so, with a defeated sigh, Levi settled down on his back, grass cool beneath him. It was easier to resign himself to his less-than-solitary fate than persuade Eren to leave him alone.

Eren appeared in his view, leaning over the resting vampire, “Wha’s yo’s?”

“Levi.”

“Levi…”

Eren laid down next to him, eyes fluttering shut as the petals floated down. “Goodnight, Levi.”

Levi spent the night staring at the sky, listening to the gentle heartbeat beside him.


	2. Bippity Boppity Boo

It was almost easy to pretend that Levi was perfectly alone; that even as he took quick, long strides through the quiet village that there wasn’t a four-year-old warlock tagging along behind him.

Almost.

Thankfully said four-year-old warlock was pretty quiet and didn’t speak much. Most kids that Levi encountered in his five hundred years – give or take a few of them – were always Chatty Kathy, always loud, always hyperactive and  _gross_. So very, very gross with their running snot and muddy paws and penchant for pissing their pants.

But quiet or not, the midget warlock was as inquisitive as all children were prone to be.

“Whe’s everyone?”

Yeah, where  _was_ everyone? Oh wait, Levi recalled now where they were. He’d been here once or twice or several dozens of times before. It was no surprise the villagers were holed up in their homes now that Levi came strolling into town.

To say he was offended was an understatement.

_Sure_ the last time he came around – about a decade ago – he’d been a very different person, er, vampire. And  _sure_ the villagers had every reason to fear him, but he was a changed vampire! Turned over a new leaf and all that. Levi was just passing through with a little thing in tow.

He caught a glimpse of someone staring at them from their home before the curtains shut.

Tch. Humans.

“’M hungry,” Eren called out from somewhere behind. He had to jog and skip in order to keep up with Levi, not that he minded when he was busy staring at everything, curious, “Something smells good.”

“We’ll get food later, now hurry along.”

But Eren didn’t respond.

Levi stopped and turned around, eyebrow twitching upon finding Eren had disappeared. 

Good. Good riddance to the thing. If he wasn’t going to keep following Levi, then Levi would just hurry along and let some other poor sap deal with him.

This was exactly what Levi wanted.

Yes. Exactly.

Levi kept walking. He’d be out of this dirty village soon, free to be alone.

Perfectly, wonderfully, blissfully alone.

“…”

One more step and Levi would be out of the village. Just one more step.

With a flutter of his coat, he vanished.

* * *

_Knock Knock._

“I wonder who that could be,” Mikasa Ackerman mused, grabbing the shotgun next to the door. She opened it, staring with smug blankness at the vampire that stood outside, “What brings you here, Levi?”

Levi leaned forward, one hand on the door frame, sniffing, “He’s here.”

“You shouldn’t be.”

Ignoring her, Levi peered around her shoulder and saw Eren sitting at the table, spooning up some porridge from his bowl. He smiled and waved at Levi, food all over his cheek.

“Hurry up, Eren.”

“He’ll be resting here for tonight,” Mikasa said, voice short. “He needs some sleep.”

“He can sleep elsewhere.”

“He’ll be safe here.”

Levi leaned closer, eyes narrowed, “Let me in, Mikasa.”

The barrel of the shotgun pressed tight against his chest.

“Sorry, but you’re not invited in.”

A tense moment passed between them, neither of them breaking eye contact.

With a sigh, Levi pulled away. “Alright, my dear vampire-hunting-niece, have it your way.”

Levi’s elder brother had settled down with a human over two decades ago, the product of their union being Mikasa Ackerman: half-vampire, half-human.

Without ado, Mikasa shut the door on his face. 

Well, if Eren was going to spend the night at Mikasa’s, then Levi supposed it was time to do some proper hunting. His stash of blood flasks had run out.

The door snapped open, Mikasa saying, “If you take blood from  _any_ of the villagers, I’ll hunt you down myself.”

_Slam_.

Ugh. She just  _had_ to inherit her mother’s personality.

* * *

Mikasa sat down across from Eren, shotgun returned to its spot by the door. She watched the toddler finish off his porridge, tiny hands holding the bowl while he tilted it to his lips.

“Tell me about yourself, Eren,” she said. He set the bowl down, swallowing his food. “How old are you?”

Counting out his fingers, Eren held four of them up. “Fou’.”

“Why are you with Levi?”

Eren shrugged. “I like him. He’s funny.”

Funny. That was a new one.

“You have to be careful around him, Eren.”

“Caweful?”

“Mhm. He’s dangerous.”

“Mm.” Eren didn’t look like he believed her, but instead of responding, he grinned. “Watch this, Mikasa!”

Climbing onto his chair so he was sitting on his knees, Eren clenched his fists before spreading his open palms over the bowl. His eyes gleamed excitedly as Mikasa watched on.

“Bippity boppity boo, you’re no longer green, but blue!”

_Poof!_

A small cloud popped up around the bowl, much to Mikasa’s surprise. Once the cloud dissipated, the bowl that was once a murky green was now a bright blue. Eren grinned triumphantly while Mikasa’s eyes widened in surprise and wonder.

“Amazing, Eren. You’re a warlock?”

“Yup!”

“What else can you do?”

That was probably the best thing she could ask him, because his eyes lit up.

They spent the night with Eren showing her other little tricks he could do – how he could float light objects, temporarily change colors of small things, summon a toad that they spent the rest of the night chasing around until it vanished in another poof of smoke, no doubt returning to where it came.

And when the night ended, Mikasa tucked him into bed and sung him a lullaby.

* * *

A disgruntled Levi Ackerman stood outside.

“It’s about damn time.”

“Language,” Mikasa warned, a freshly awakened and showered Eren stepping outside of the house. Mikasa was about to protest, about to grab him and bring him back in, but then she caught the barely noticeable softening of lines on Levi’s face as Eren stood in front of him.

“Time to go, Levi!”

“…Yes,” Levi said. “Let’s go, Eren.”

And instead of chasing after them, Mikasa watched them leave, thinking that maybe this little warlock could warm up that cold vampire.


	3. Rub-a-Dub-Dub

Run, run,  _run!_

Eren had to keep running. His life depended on it. He couldn’t let his cramp get the best of him, could only regret all of those sweets he ate as he clutched his sides, breath shaky and short from running so much.

No matter what, he couldn’t let Levi catch up to him.

And so, hand against a wall, Eren caught his breath. He furrowed his brows and resumed running three seconds later. If he continued dodging through alleys, he was sure he’d lose Levi at some point. Eren was super fast, after all! There was no way some silly, old vampire was going to get him.

He’d sooner die than get caught.

“Eren.”

A cold chill seized Eren’s spine, making him halt. He frantically searched around for the owner of the voice, but he couldn’t find Levi. 

“You can’t outrun me, Eren.”

Haha, we’ll see about that, old man.

Expression determined, Eren darted around a corner, feet patting gently over the dirt path as he ran. 

“ _Eren_.”

Irritation. 

Eren humphed. He couldn’t stop. Levi was going to–

“I can hear you.”

Levi was going to–

“I can  _smell_ you.”

Levi was–

Eren squeaked, suddenly picked up from the floor.

A pair of wicked red eyes held his, but all Eren could see were the two pointy teeth glinting beneath pale, thin lips.

“Got you.”

* * *

“Eren, sto–”

“No!”

“Ere–”

“I don’t want this!”

“ _Eren!_ ”

“Dumby Levi!”

Levi suddenly dropped Eren onto the bathroom floor. Did the brat just  _bite_ him? 

Oh the irony.

“Eren,” Levi tried, tone patient.

“ _No!"_ Eren yelled, eyes squeezed shut before an invisible force made the water in the bathtub splash – as if something heavy had been dropped inside – dowsing Levi.

In the week they’d been together, Eren hadn’t taken a bath yet. That was all Levi wanted to do, was give the twerp warlock a bath, but somehow that turned into a chase, followed by Levi having to wrestle Eren into their room at the inn and into the bathroom; everything leading up to Levi being drenched.

Eren sniffled angrily, looking unapologetic.

Sighing, Levi started to strip himself of his clothes. 

"Wh-wha’ awe you doing?”

“I’m wet. I may as well get in the bath.”

“O-Oh,” Eren scowled at the wooden floors as Levi climbed into the tub, “I’m still not gonna get in.”

“That’s fine.”

“Eh?” Eren looked at him just as he settled against the side of the tub, head tilted back and eyes closed.

“I was going to let you make bubbles or whatever. But I guess not.”

“Bubbles…?”

“I even got you this,” Levi lifted up a rubber duck.  _That_ had been awkward to buy.

Eren tried not to look excited, he tried really, really hard. But the fight was short lived before he stripped himself of his clothes and tried to climb into the bathtub.

Hiding a smirk, Levi leaned over and lifted him inside.

“Do you know how to summon bubbles?”

“No,” Eren said with a disappointed frown.

Levi grabbed his backup plan: a bubble bomb that he had also (awkwardly) purchased. He dropped it into the water and ran the faucet for a bit – half of the water from earlier having been dumped all over Levi– the bomb dissolving into bubble foam that filled the tub.

“Eren,” Levi started ten minutes later, watching as Eren played with his rubber duck and made foam mustaches for himself, “who was teaching you magic before?”

“My mama.”

Levi just sat there as Eren stuck some bubble foam over Levi, creating a beard for him.

The little warlock giggled.

“Would you like to learn more magic?”

“‘es!”

“I’ll take you to meet someone. Tomorrow.”

“'kay!”

It was about time Eren learned some self-control, at least to avoid another situation that ended with Levi getting dowsed with water.

And maybe tomorrow Levi would ask Eren about his parents, about what happened to them, if they were still alive, if Eren got lost from them or they lost him on purpose.

But for now, Levi allowed himself to relax in the warm bathtub, listening to the gentle splashes of the boy with him.


	4. Robes & Capes, Oh My!

Levi’s plan was simple: take Eren to his witch friend, dump Eren with said witch friend so that witch friend could teach Eren about magical mambo-jumbo with the added bonus of self-control. And then Levi would leave Eren with his witch friend. Permanently.

She always wanted a young apprentice, after all.

Granted, that was about one-hundred years ago. She could have an apprentice by now. But she was never one to turn down a new project.

And so, Levi’s Plan to Rid Himself of the Tiny Warlock was in effect.

Just temporarily on hold.

Because Eren got his robes dirty after a hawk had snatched up his pointy hat.

Hence why Eren was crying right this second.

Levi stood there, fingers plugged into either of his pointed ears, wishing for once in his miserable existence that he was deaf.

Or not a vampire because he could hear things more than the average human. And Eren’s incessant wailing was grating on every nerve of Levi’s undead body.

_Wah_ wah _waAAHh._

“Eren,” Levi drawled, voice raised so he could hear himself, “you’re being dramatic.”

Eren cried harder, still not moving from that puddle of mud he sat in.

Levi tried to think of any occasion where he had to deal with a crying child. But the more he racked his brain, the more he realized he never  _had to deal with a crying child_. This was, sadly, his first time doing so and he was at a complete and utter loss.

“Eren,  _kindly please_ stop your –” Eren sniffled, “– _obnoxious wailing_.” Eren glared at Levi, not understanding his words, but understanding them enough to know they were an insult so he proceeded to cry more.

Growling, mumbling something about how he had it just about to HERE with Eren’s crying, Levi picked up said crying warlock by the scruff of his dirtied, ruined robe, heaved him out of the mud and stalked in the direction of the nearest town.

Which was why Levi’s Plan to Rid Himself of the Tiny Warlock was temporarily on hold, as they were now standing in  _Robes & Capes, Oh My! _– a tailoring shop for supernatural beings.

Eren was dumped to the ground, his crying fading away as he stared around the place curiously, snot dripping from his sniffling nose.

“I’ll buy you a new robe and hat, kid, so stop your sniveling.”

“Really?” Eren asked in a small voice.

“Yes.”

And that was all it took for Eren to brighten up, forget about that bird that stole his hat, bounce right back up and run around the store.

“Ah, welcome to my shop,” a woman said as she came out from the back, her name tag reading _Ilse._ “How can I help you, sir? A new suit? Perhaps a matching cape?”

“I’m here for him,” Levi pointed to the muddy Eren running around, staring in awe at all of the robes and hats on display.

Making a face, Ilse reached into her own robes, pulled out what looked like a stick, flicked it and just like that, all of the mud that Eren had tracked around disappeared. 

“You’re a witch?”

“A low-level one,” she said, rubbing her chin as she eyed Eren up and down. She approached the boy, “Do you want some new robes, Eren?”

“How do you know my name?” Eren asked, tilting his head curiously.

“One of my special abilities is being able to read people’s names from their face alone.”

“Whoa.”

“I can read people,” she explained, “and it helps me better with my job. I can pick the perfect clothes for you.”

Eren smacked his hands together excitedly, “And you’ll do that fo’ me?”

Ilse smiled. “Yes.”

Seamstresses, Levi had learned in all of his years of wandering around, were a certain kind of witch who only had powers over threads. Most of them were tailors, hence their names of Seamstress. 

Ilse gestured for Eren to stand in front of the mirrors. He did so, visibly excited for whatever Ilse was going to do. She tapped her wand against her chin, sizing the boy up and debating over this and that; whatever it was that seamstresses debated over. Colors. Thread count. Those kind of things, Levi supposed.

She tilted her wand downwards and twirled it around in long, slow circles. The threads in Eren’s dirty robes started to pull themselves apart as new threads surged from their bundles on the floor, knitting themselves where the old ones unraveled.

It wasn’t long before Eren’s old orange robes were replaced with emerald ones, the sleeves and hems outlined with gold. 

“And one last thing,” Ilse said with a smile, tapping the top of Eren’s head with her wand. 

A tickling sensation warmed the top of Eren’s head. He turned to the mirror, grinning at the matching hat that lay there.

* * *

Levi placed the appropriate gold onto the register counter while Eren twirled around in the back, still in awe of his new robes.

“Thanks for your patronage,” Ilse said, sliding the gold coins towards herself. Before Levi could turn around to leave, she grabbed his wrist. Levi’s gray eyes bled red. “Just some advice,  _vampire_ –”

“Unwanted advice,” he growled low.

“–it’s best that you leave the boy to someone of his own kind. He is growing, he needs proper guidance.”

As if Levi didn’t know that. But he pursed his lips and let the witch continue.

“You are not what he needs.”

With a  _tch_ , Levi tore his hand away and stalked off, Eren following closely behind. His thanks for his new clothes fell upon deaf ears, for all Levi could hear were Ilse’s cautionary words.

That was the plan, he thought.

But for some reason he felt cold inside – ironic considering his undead status. 


	5. Pumpkin Pie

Levi thought he’d seen everything by now. After all, he was pretty ~~old~~ young vampire who’d seen a lot in his terribly drab, terribly immortal life. Or so he thought until a certain Tiny-Snot-Nosed Warlock bippity-boppity-boo-ed his way into Levi’s very peaceful, very quiet life.

And _then_ he thought he’d seen it all. 

But he should have known nothing could ever be so simple. Not wrestling a four-year-old into a tub, not keeping said four-year-old from getting snatched up by birds, not keeping the toddler from dripping snot all over Levi’s pristine clothes.

What else could the fates possibly throw at Levi that he hadn’t already seen or dealt with?

It’d been ten days since they left the last town. Ten days of going east, heading towards Levi’s witch friend so he could discard the messy warlock child there. Ten days since they’d last seen civilization. They’d been doing pretty good, even with Eren’s short legs slowing them down. Sure, things could progress faster if Levi just picked him up and carried him. But _holding_ something that could drip boogers all over him? Or drool on his shoulder? Levi had all the time in the world to keep pace with Eren.

He should’ve known that when Eren started to lag further behind, that there was something dreadfully wrong.

He should’ve noticed the telltale chill of foreboding tickling his spine. But it didn’t _really_ strike him until he heard a sniffle from behind.

Levi turned around, eyes narrowed suspiciously at Eren who seemed frozen where he stood, hands bunched in his robes, lips pursed and head bowed. “Eren, come along.”

He shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut with defiance.

“This is no time for games,” Levi said, and still, Eren refused to move, let alone say anything.

He was trembling.

“…What is it, Eren?”

Another sniffle.

“Eren.”

“I-I’m sorry,” his voice was as shaky as the tiny hands that lifted his robes up.

Honestly. Levi thought he’d seen everything. What more could a helpless child do that Levi hadn’t seen already?

Wet his trousers, apparently.

Levi had to give it to himself. He didn’t let his horror and disgust show _too_ much on his face. And he only stood frozen for maybe five seconds before he acted.

It wasn’t very often that Levi had to move at full speed. That was one of the nice things about being a vampire, it was the speed. For five seconds he’d been stiff. Five point one seconds later, he had seized Eren by the back of his robes and darted off. By then, Eren started crying, upset by his wet trousers, confused by the speed at which they were moving.

But Levi couldn’t console him yet. There were more important things to deal with.

* * *

Levi hefted the pair of wet trousers out of the river. Two feet away, Eren splashed around, his giggles peeling through the air. A huge contrast compared to his wailing from earlier.

No matter how much Levi dumped and squeezed and wrung Eren’s pants, that dreadful stench still lingered. And for Levi whose sense of smell was stronger than most others… He wrinkled his nose.

“Hey, Eren.”

Eren ignored him in favor of splashing after a toad.

“Eren, do you want to cast a spell?”

That caught his attention. “Yeah!”

“Can you make your pants smell good?”

“Um…” His brows crinkled together in thought. “I ‘unno.”

What was it that his four-eyed-witch-friend used to say about casting spells? Sometimes all you had to do was conjure a familiar sensation. “What’s your favorite smell? Anything that makes you happy.”

“Mm.” Eren curled a fist around his chin, face scrunched in thought. “…Pumpkin pie!”

Well, it was pumpkin pie or piss. “Can you make your trousers smell like pumpkin pie?”

“Can I eat it?”

“Uh, no.”

“Aw.”

“If you can, I’ll treat you to real pumpkin pie.”

Eren brightened up. Whenever he brightened up like that, it looked like stars sparkled in those big greens of his. That or Levi was just seeing things. “Okay!”

At first, Levi hadn’t known a spell had been cast. But his nose no longer stung with that terrible scent. It was like a warm breeze had come and gone, replacing the bad smell with something more pleasing with a dash of cinnamon.

It occurred to him in that moment how strong Eren was.

“Not bad.”

Eren beamed.

“Eren, why did you think of pumpkin pie?”

“My mama,” he said, “always made pumpkin pie fo’ me.”

“I see.”

It also occurred to him that Eren never cried for his mom or dad. 

“Can you make your clothes dry?”

Eren concentrated for a few seconds and then shook his head.

Levi wasn’t surprised. There seemed to be a correlation between Eren’s emotions and his magic. “Once they’re dry, we’ll get pumpkin pie at the next town.”

“Yay!”

And as Eren resumed splashing around in the river, Levi left Eren’s trousers to dry over the grass. He sat back, staring at the faint stars twinkling in the evening sky. 

He wondered what other surprises a toddler could throw at him.


	6. Ghost Stories

Going through a cemetery was a bad idea.

Taking a detour would’ve been much faster, but _no_. A certain little person insisted on seeing the _spoopy place_ because _wow it looks so cool, Levi! Can I please go in?_

And every rational part of Levi told him that he should have said no, but because Eren was pretty good as far as children went and never asked for much, Levi thought: just this once. Just this once he’d indulge the three-foot-tall warlock because what could possibly go wrong in the middle of a foggy night, in a place where the dead slept?

Except the dead didn’t sleep. Levi was walking proof of that.

Although he was technically an undead, which was different from dead because the _dead_ dead was buried six feet under while Levi walked the earth and -- semantics.

Six feet under or not, the dead still managed to, well, not stay properly dead.

“...tellin’ ya this nasty werewolf came outta nowhere. I was just mindin’ my own business, ya know? Mary Beth and I were just making lov--”

Levi cleared his throat.

“--loaves of bread a mile down the river bank.”

“Now what were you doing making _bread_ by a river?”

“Don’t interrupt me when I’m talking, Cornelius. Now where was I? Ah yes. Mary Beth and I. Making bread. And then a nasty werewolf just comes and _swoosh!_ Next thing I know I’m looking down at my body and my head’s no longer attached! Rolled off ten feet away!”

Cornelius sniffled. “‘Nasty werewolf.’ I find that extremely offensive.”

“That’s because you’re one of those flea-infested mongrels.”

“I did _not_ have fleas, Theo. I was very refined in my day, thank you very much. At least I was not some, some _peasant.”_

“No fleas, huh? Then what’s that I see on you?”

“...I am dead you buffoon.”

“Haha but you still looked. Mutt.”

“Farm boy.”

“Dog breath.”

“Disgusting--”

“Rabies-infested--”

This. This was Levi’s problem with going through the cemetery. The dead didn’t stay dead because they were too busy talking. Especially when someone who was flesh and blood, and with a pulsing heart came by, they became incessant chatter boxes. There was no shutting them up.

And Eren was eating it all up. He laughed over the ghosts’ bickering, finding it utterly amusing while not truly understanding any of it. Ah, children. So simple-minded. Much like ghosts.

“Look, Levi!” Eren laughed, sticking his hand through Cornelius the dead werewolf.

Cornelius looked absolutely affronted. “Why I never!”

Levi was laying across a stone monument, propped up in his side, head in hand as he drank from his flask. Cornelius and Theo weren’t even the worst of it.

“...Is everyone just going to ignore the _vampire?_ Be gone, monster!”

Buffy the Dead Vampire Slayer repeatedly stabbed a spectral stake through Levi. He was pretty sure Buffy wasn’t the ghost’s name, but it was the only one he could bother to think of.

“By my power, I will vanquish thee! Hi-yah!”

Levi was going to need a refill soon at the rate he was going through his flask. It helped numb the horrible pain and suffering of being there.

“Don’t worry mine little warlock friend, I will protect thee from this foul creature!”

“You’re funny,” Eren said.

“Never fear! I have slayed many-a beasts! Why, I slayed an ogre when I was but four! This vampire is nothing!”

“Ah yes, you slayed an _ogre_ when you were _four_ ,” Cornelius drawled. Even Theo snickered at that. “No one believes that far-fetched tale of yours, Billy.”

“But I did!” Billy stopped his stabbing to further defend himself. “He was six feet tall and three feet wide! Probably weighed five-hundred pounds! But using my wit and natural-born skills, I exterminated that beast.”

“Extuhminate!” Eren cheered.

“Yes, exterminate!” Billy nodded exuberantly. “Exterminate all the monsters!”

“Extuhaminate all the monstas!” Eren echoed.

Levi sighed.

“No, young lad. It’s _ex-TER-min-ate_. Mon _ster_.”

“Ex-TUH-min-ate.”

“TER. Not ‘TUH.’“

“TUH.”

“No, lad, TER.”

“TUH! Extuhminate!”

“Ex _ter_ mi-- You know what? Close enough. Let us venture this vast world together to rid this world of foul creatures.” Billy froze, catching the dark look Levi sent him, “or better yet, let’s stay here in this cozy cemetery.”

“Mary Beth would make this icky place feel cozy,” Theo grumbled.

“So was thine head reattached to thine body upon burial?” Billy asked Theo, quick to change the subject and divert the vampire’s creepy gaze elsewhere.

“Well _yes_ ,” Theo had one of those ‘duh’ expressions. “It was an open casket funeral. They sewed my head back to my body.”

Cornelius made a disgusted face. “Charming funeral, I’m sure.”

Eren blinked as Theo’s face invaded his view. He had a hard time focusing on the ghost, unsure if he should be staring through him while trying to zero in on the ghost’s face while his eyes went cross eyed.

“No offense, but what’s a young ‘un like you doing with... _that_?” Theo asked in a whisper, as if Levi wasn’t a vampire and his ears weren’t extremely sensitive to sound.

Eren tilted his head inquisitively. “That?”

“That vampire. Why are you with that bloodsucking monstrosity?” It was Cornelius. He had no problem speaking loud and clear.

“Oh.” Eren nodded in understanding. “Levi’s funny.”

Levi snorted. Clearly the three ghosts found that just as absurd, if not more so, than Levi.

“How is he...’funny’?” Cornelius asked, torn between being disturbed and curious.

“Levi goes,” Eren made claws with his hands, imitating a hissing noise with his lack of sharp canines. “Rawr!”

The ghosts glanced at Levi, disappointed.

“Children. So simple minded.”

“You should find yourself new friends to hang around,” Theo said. “Preferably your own age. And warm-blooded.”

“I’ve met a funny vampire once,” Billy butted in, sitting down next to Eren, instantly stealing all of the little warlock’s attention. The ghost clearly relished in it, puffing up and beaming as he rattled on. “Let me tell thee about Ferdinand. I was hired to stake this vampire through the heart. Apparently he’d been terrorizing a small village, but never actually _killed_ anyone. It wasn’t until I encountered him that I learned he was allergic to blood! Ha! Can thee believe? A vampire allergic to blood!”

Cornelius raised an eyebrow. “Impossible.”

“I speak the truth!”

Levi rolled over so he was laying on his other side, his back to the group of ghosts and Eren. He loved being ignored. No, really, he did. What he didn’t love was listening to a bunch of ghost stories. 

“Wake me up when it’s time to go,” Levi muttered.

“Oh, and now this vampire thinks he can sleep,” Theo laughed. “He really is funny.”

Levi refused to argue back. There was no winning with ghosts, especially when one couldn’t threaten them with physical harm, maiming, or death.

Technically, vampires didn’t sleep. They drifted - almost like being in a trance state. It allowed them to rest and regain their energy, while not quite asleep in the mortal sense. This way, they got their rest and maintained alertness of their surroundings. Vampires didn’t need to drift for long periods at a time, nor did they need to ‘sleep’ for hundreds of years in coffins. Sure, Levi could go for a 400-year nap, maybe 500 if he was being generous, but no. He was lucky enough to drift for as long as mortals slept if he wanted to.

But most of the time, thirty minutes was all he needed when he didn’t extend a lot - if any - energy during the day.

In a way, drifting was like taking a nap. Vampires did it in spurts throughout their day. Five minutes here. Fifteen minutes there. Maybe thirty minutes if they had a particularly long sprint. 

...And look at that, Levi had managed to drift. The voices had faded, the sounds in his head quiet. Ghosts didn’t have a presence (at least nonviolent ones), so he couldn’t sense them. But he could sense Eren nearby (warm and bright), and nothing.

A tiny galaxy of stars and milky ways, that’s what Eren was. And everything else around him was emptiness and stars that had died a long time ago.

But then he started to fade one twinkle at a time.

* * *

Levi pried his eyes open and was on his feet the next, eyes red and narrowed onto the three ghosts. “Where did he go?”

“Why, to relieve himself!” Billy said.

“Where?”

Billy pointed towards a crypt half a yard down. Levi tore off in that direction, followed the traces of magic that Eren had left behind. It lingered behind the crypt where Billy said he’d gone, but that was it. 

There was no Eren around the crypt or behind it.

There was no Eren in the cemetery.

There was no Eren _anywhere_. 


	7. Trick or Treat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> featuring Jean.

Ever since Eren’s Wet Trouser Incident, he had a hard time using the potty with other people (or ghosts and a vampire, technically) around.

He didn’t want another embarrassing accident to occur. Once was enough for him. Eren was determined to use the bathroom as soon as his bladder even hinted a tiny need to go number one (or number two).

“Gotta pee-pee,” he mumbled to himself, scurrying across the cemetery, short legs working overtime.

He found a spot out of sight, behind some building (it was a crypt, Eren), and everything after that was censored because Eren liked to keep his private business to himself. But the little warlock was mighty proud of himself for avoiding another tragic accident with his trousers. Honestly he’d been so embarrassed that Levi had to carry him after he wet his pants, that Eren thought he was going to explode. 

Of course that embarrassment lasted until he’d been stripped and tossed in the river and had a splashing distraction.

He was so proud of himself, Eren was just about to run back and tell Levi until a voice had him halting in his tracks.

“Hey, kid.”

Eren slowly turned around, eyes blinking at the wolfish grin that greeted him.

“Trick or treat?”

* * *

Eren was mad. Or getting mad. He wasn’t quite very mad yet, but he knew if he didn’t get his treat soon, he was going to get really, _really_ mad.

“Where’s my treat?”

Another thing to be proud of: Eren was getting better at pronouncing his R’s (sometimes, not all the time. It took a lot of concentration and focus to get his R’s to sound like R’s). He couldn’t wait to tell Levi.

“Oh, we’re almost there and then you’ll get your treat.”

Eren frowned. “I can walk.”

“It’s faster if I carry you.”

“Hm.” The guy with dog ears held him around his stomach so he was dangling around the waist. Eren glanced up at him, noting the way the man’s eyes seemed to glow gold when the clouds parted and the moon lit his face. “What’s yo’ name?”

“Guess it won’t matter if I tell you. I’m Jean.”

“I’m Ewe- Air - Eren. Are you a doggy?”

Jean made a sound that sounded like a doggy, a very angry one. “No. I’m a werewolf.”

“Oh. I met a ghost we’ewolf! His name’s Corny.” (Cornelius the dead werewolf sneezed - wait, could ghosts even sneeze?)

“Uh, that’s nice.”

“You have a long face. Like a horsie!” Eren laughed at that, clearly pleased by his own joke. Jean clenched his jaw, canines grinding together in an effort to maintain a false facade of calm pleasantries.

“Hil _ar_ ious. Like I haven’t heard that before.”

“I can do magic!”

“Sure you can.”

“I can!”

Eren pondered for a moment, wondering what he could do to get Jean to believe him. An idea struck him not soon after, grin impish,

“Pants up high, now down low!”

“Eh?” Jean stared at Eren like he sprouted two heads. Point three seconds later, he tripped over his pants that had fallen to his ankles. Eren rolled out of his arm, sitting up and laughing gleefully. Red faced and snarling, Jean hurried to fix his pants. “You little punk. No more treat for you.”

Eren’s laughter died down. “I want my tweat.”

“Well, you can’t always get what you want, kid,” Jean sniffed, pants secured tightly around his waist. He didn’t see the way Eren’s expression darkened, or the way his eyes seemed to gleam brighter in the darkness, otherwise he’d probably be a bit more concerned. “Besides, if you get your treat, then I won’t get mine.”

“I _want_ my _tweat_.”

“Look, throwing a tantrum ain’t gonna get you any…” Jean trailed off, freezing when he finally looked at Eren, only to be blasted back five feet away by some invisible force.

* * *

Honestly, the robes and pointy hat should’ve given away to Jean what that kid was. A warlock.

But what could some pipsqueak do to him? A young, strong, powerful werewolf? Jean just wanted a little snack. And he thought the fates were granting that to him when he spotted Eren alone and unprotected in the cemetery.

How was he supposed to know that pipsqueak was the devil?

And now Jean was dangling fifteen feet in the air. Jean didn’t like heights. Not one bit.

“Put me down you little shit so that I can eat you!”

Eren huffed. “You _twicked_ me! Yo’ not giving me a tweat!”

“How observant of you!”

“You meanie!”

“Is that supposed to hurt my feeli–” Jean was lifted higher up, his stomach churning. “A-alright, I’m sorry! If you put me down, I’ll get you your treat.”

“You p’omise?”

“I promise.”

Eren glared. “I don’t believe you. Yo’ a bad doggy.”

“Eren. Eren!” Jean thought he was going to be sick. Or no, he knew he was going to be sick as soon as the brat spun him around. “I really am sorry, okay? I’ll be good. I won’t e – _gag_ – eat you.”

“Hm,” Eren hummed, his dark anger from earlier dissipating into amusement. “Hey, Jean. Twick o’ tweat?”

Jean closed his eyes, knowing he was going to regret this. “…Trick?”

Yup. The next thing he knew, his stomach was in his throat, the air whooshed around him, and his body was hitting the ground. Everything hurt after that.

So much for the fates being on his side tonight.

“Okay, take me back to Levi now.”

Jean groaned. “Who’s Levi?”

“ _I’m_ Levi.”

Jean thought he heard Eren squeak happily. But Jean was too focused in regaining his bearings. The smell should’ve given it away, but everything was too out of whack for him to even realize what he was smelling. He managed to squint at the black, polished shoes standing near his head, follow the trail of nicely tailored black slacks, over the vest and cravat (Jean was like sixty percent certain there was a cape, too), only to land on a pale face and a cold, _cold_ gaze.

Eren was clinging to one of – who Jean assumed to be – Levi’s legs.

“So you’re the one who took Eren,” this Levi said, voice low and silky and yet somehow monotonous. Jean knew that tone. It was a tone predators often used when they meant to play with their prey. When he talked, his lips moved and Jean thought he saw a flash of canines.

For a moment he thought Levi was a werewolf. But no, he didn’t have the ears or the gold eyes.

And then the smell hit him: roses and death. A vampire (Jean never understood why vampires smelled like roses of all things. All he knew was that he hated vampires, and therefore roses).

“Levi, Jean lied to me. He said he was gonna give me a tweat.”

“I see.”

Jean should’ve known there was something fishy about a kid being in a cemetery. He should’ve left Eren alone. He should’ve just gone to town and found something (or someone) else to eat. He should’ve trusted his gut instinct that this kid would bring him nothing but trouble.

He should’ve known the fates were only out to mock him.

Levi bared his fangs in what could be perceived as a wicked grin, and Jean saw his life flash before his eyes.

(We are now experiencing technical difficulties due to bloodshed and violence. Sorry for the inconvenience.)

* * *

“Levi, awe we gonna go back to the ghosts?”

“No, Eren.”

“Mm.” Eren yawned. For some reason, after they left Jean, Levi had picked Eren up and wouldn’t let him walk. But Eren found he didn’t want to complain about that. He was perfectly comfortable in Levi’s arms. “I went potty without wetting my pants.”

“Good job.”

“A…Are you mad at me, Levi?” It felt like it. Levi hadn’t even looked at him at all. He kept his gaze forward, face stoic.

“No… No.” Levi sighed. “Don’t go anywhere without me, do you understand?”

“Okay.”

“Get some sleep.”

“Okay.”

Eren burrowed deeper against Levi. It wasn’t long after that he fell asleep, clearly tired from being up so late to begin with. 

Levi didn’t stop walking that night, nor did he stop to put Eren down. It wasn’t as if he was worried Eren was going to run off again. It wasn’t as if Levi worried about another monster snatching him up, or Eren disappearing. Again.

It was faster this way, he told himself. No little legs to slow him down. No waiting for Eren to wake up. 

Just Levi walking, Eren secured in his arms.


End file.
